I get my stitches out today.. which is always a good thing, even though this is the first time ever getting stitches out..
Either way without them I won't have to lean over the bathtub in awkward contortions to protect them from H2O just to wash my mop like I have been for the past 12 days.
Nevermind, who am I trying to fool? You and I both know I do not wash my hair nearly as often as I should. So really, I'm sure I only did five times.

Anyway! These stitches have kept me from the following:
1. Showering regularly
2. Running from creepies
3. Squatting down to see what's on the bottom shelves of the refrigerator
4. Kama Sutra
5. Laying out/swimming
6. Ballet
7. Participating in the World Cup

I can't help but notice my stomachs peeling. I find this odd considering it's been an estimated 20 days since the last time I layed out. This can't be good for my sex life.. or for any life, it's not good shedding like a snake with a face like this. I'm sure it's going to be a total shock.

Now, I'm off to get ready to go to Dr. Idontspeakenglishbutmanagetowriteterriblyso
Really, doctors need to get their acts together. Speak english, use words that common folk know, write so people can read it, and MOVE faster!